Cigar guy: how to dress like him

| Posted in Funny News |


Thanks for Retuning!

From being just one of thousands of spectators thronging around Celtic Manor last weekend, a slouching gentleman with his hands in his pockets has become a globally recognised icon.

Of course it helped that he happened to make it into the frame of one of the world’s best ever sports photographs. But then no one is talking about the red fleece guy, or the moisturiser model boy.

So if you too are a fan of Miguel Ángel Jiménez, or just want to make an impression, here’s how.

Navy anorak with fetching baby-blue trim

No Cigar Guy costume is complete without his trademark navy anorak with pale-blue collar trim. Sadly, the exact provenance of Cigar Guy’s own jacket is unknown. Having scoured the shelves, the closest replica we could find was retailing for $89.50 at the US Fashion Shop. If anyone tracks down the genuine article, please shout.

Sky-blue slacks

Sky-blue slacks are a must-have wardrobe item for any self respecting Cigar Guy poseur. The fine tailoring and crisply-pressed creases tell their own story. Stuarts of London sell a similar pair which boast two back and two front pockets to help you affect that characteristic Cigar Guy slouch. Sadly, this is kind of chic boutique where the price isn’t disclosed till you purchase.

Shirt and jumper

Any fool can slap on a ginger wig and a fake ‘tache, but Cigar Guy cognoscenti know that the secret to mimicking this dapper devil is in the detail, right down to the navy jumper and wonky-collared white shirt. Both can be easily sourced from Marks and Spencer. Make sure you don’t miss a thing.

White golf shoes with flame-red detail

As your grandmother must have told you, you can tell a lot about a man by his shoes. True to form, Cigar Guy’s red-trimmed golf trainers tell you everything you need to know. Adidas sell a similar pair for £94.99. Get them while they’re hot.

Ginger wig

The ginger wig is the cherry on top of your Cigar Guy costume: the final delicious detail that makes the whole assemblage irresistible. There are a multitude to choose from, but the Ginger Tony Wig, complete with centre parting and waves is the connoisseur’s choice. Buy it from Jokers’ Masquerade for only £5.99

Fake moustache

Sure, the ginger wig is a crucial part of the package, but a true Cigar Guy buff will tell you that the fake ‘tache is the glue that holds the whole outfit together. The market in fake face fungus is booming and there’s a glut of products to choose from, but we recommend the Cowboy Tash (sic) sold at a snip for £2.09 at Fancy Dress Fast.

Fat cigar

At last, the pièce de résistance. Without his cigar, our hero would be reduced to nothing. Indeed, he would be just a guy. When it comes to the cigar, the fatter the better. And few are fatter than the Cohiba Maduro 5 – or the “fat robusto,” as it’s known to its friends. However, far be it from the Daily Telegraph to encourage our readers to take up the evil habit. So, for the more clean-living among you, we recommend the Jumbo Gangster Puff Puff Cigar, which glows at the tip and produces fake smoke. No-one need know you’re an imposter.

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