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Drunk man rescued after chasing goose into river (AP)

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Thanks for Retuning!

WAUSAU, Wis. – Wausau rescued and arrested a drunken man who plunged into the Wisconsin River while chasing a one-legged goose. The 40-year-old Wausau man told officers he wanted to catch the bird and roast it. He said he took off his shirt and shoes Thursday afternoon and jumped into the frigid water.

Authorities said he was overcome by the cold water and had to be rescued by firefighters. Police said the man had been drinking heavily before the stunt.

The man was arrested on an outstanding warrant for bail jumping.

Witness Sergio Lopez works by the river. He said he often sees people jump in the water during hot summer days but rarely in October.

Police told the Wausau Daily Herald that as far as they know, the goose is still on the loose.

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Information from: Wausau Daily Herald, View the original article here

Ordnance Survey lists nicknames for British places

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Some of the alternative names are descriptions: Manchester’s Wilmslow Road is known as The Curry Mile because of its many Indian restaurants.

Others are ironic: the Festival Leisure Centre in Basildon, Essex, has been dubbed Bas Vegas. Some are simply insulting: one down-at-heel street in Southampton has been branded the Mutant Mile.

Bill Lucas, an author and trustee of the English Project, said: “We are throwing a very wide net in this national trawl for what we call Location Lingo.

“Everyone knows the big national nicknames like Pompey for Portsmouth or Auld Reekie for Edinburgh, but we are more interested in the names that are not so well-known and might be used only by a neighbourhood, a village community, a workplace, or even by an extended family or group of friends.

“Some local nicknames have been around for centuries, while others are being coined right now. But however old or new they are, we want to celebrate and record them.”

The charity, based in Winchester, hopes the names will highlight the tradition of playing with the language through rhyme, resonance or irony. It is launching the gazetteer as part of celebrations for English Language Day this Wednesday.

In 2008 the charity launched a dictionary of ‘Kitchen Table Lingo’, homemade words used by families up and down the county, including 57 words for a television remote control.

Glen Hart, Ordnance Survey’s head of research, added: “With the huge variety of place nicknames that exist we could never hope to capture them all ourselves.

“But the information from Location Lingo could prove vital. Organisations like the emergency services rely on our information when responding to 999 calls, so by having the most complete set of nicknames we could help the emergency services quickly locate the right place, and maybe even save lives.

“Such knowledge will also help improve internet searches as well as recognising the importance that such names have to local communities.”

Phill Jupitus, the comedian, has already contributed to the project, reporting that Stanford-le-Hope, his hometown in Essex, is called Stanford-No-Hope by locals.

To take part, visit www.locationlingo.net from tomorrow morning and add names for neighbourhoods, towns, villages, streets, parks or landmarks.

Some of the names already in the “Location Lingo” database:

Padstein – Padstow in Cornwall (in homage to Rick Stein, the celebrity chef who lives there)

The Big Smoke – London

Pompy - Portsmouth

Guz - Devenport, Devon

Auld Reekie – Edinburgh (Scots for “Old Smoky”, because when homes were heated by coal or wood, its chimneys would blow thick smoke into the air)

Ponte Carlo – Pontefract, West Yorks

Where-Upon-Earth – Wath-upon-Dearne, South Yorks

The Nam – Tottenham, north London

Spaghetti Junction – Intersection of the M6, A38(M), A38 , and A5127 above two railway lines, three canals and two rivers, near Birmingham

The Wobbly Bridge – The Millennium Bridge, London

Amazingstoke – Basingstoke, Hants

Beastly Eastleigh – Eastleigh, Hants

Mudville – Peterborough, Cambs (because of the ring-road construction in the 1970s)

Swindump – Swindon, Wilts

Cas Vegas – Castleford, West Yorks

Stanford-No-Hope – Stanford-le-Hope in Essex

Bas Vegas – the Festival Leisure Centre in Basildon, Essex

Dollies Lane – Egbert Road, Winchester (because of the very narrow pavement)

Happy Meadow – a water meadow near Wilton, Wiltshire (because it was once a skating area)

Old Men’s Gardens – The Royal Hospital, Chelsea, London (home to the Chelsea Pensioners)

The Serps – The Serpentine, Kensington Gardens, London

The Cat Grounds – The Outer Close, Winchester Cathedral

Banana Bridge – a bridge over the Itchen in Hampshire

Smelly Alley – Union Street, Reading (because it is near the market)

The Pub with No Name – the White Horse pub in Priors Dean, near Petersfield, Hampshire

The Gherkin – 30 St Mary Axe, in the City of London

The Drain – the Waterloo & City underground line in London

The Mutant Mile – Shirley High Street, Southampton

The Curry Mile – Wilmslow Road, Manchester (because of its Indian restaurants)

The Balti Triangle – Stoney Lane, Ladypool Road and Stratford Road in Birmingham

The Pregnant Pin – Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth

Sex Shop Hill – Fore Street, Exeter, Devon (location of the city’s first sex shop)

Conker champion thanks mathematical formula

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Self-employed Mr Kellock, from Rushden, Northants, who regained the title after being knocked out in last year’s semi-finals, said it was all down to the now-modified formula.

”It’s design this time, it was a chance last time but it was design this time.

”It’s all about potential energy, according to my son anyway, who’s a Batchelor of Engineering.

”He says that it’s all about kinetic energy and potential energy.

”We only had kinetic energy two years ago and now we’ve got potential energy factored in too.

”It’s all about how you hit it and where you hit it.

”We didn’t quite perfect it last year, that’s why we didn’t win.”

Wendy Bradford, 45, from Brixworth, Northants, said she was ”stunned” to win the Ladies title.

She said: ”We’ve competed a few times in the past as a family, but obviously I’ve not done as well as this before.

”We just enjoy competing, it’s a really nice day and somehow they always book the really nice weather.

”I’ll probably be back next year but I think this is the pinnacle of my achievements.”

The championship was nearly derailed by a lack of conkers in the weeks running up to the annual event.

John Hadman, secretary at Ashton Conker Club, said: ”There was a potential problem when we started to collect, normally about three weeks before, the only ones were small and few-and-far between.

”And our usual trees, the ones we rely on, just weren’t producing them.

”We started looking further afield and sent out an SOS and we’ve got responses from all over the country.

”But we didn’t need to take them up in the end, because with the recent wind and rain we got ones coming down from trees which had not produced good ones for years.

”It’s one of those vagaries of nature.”

He said around 4, 000 to 5,000 people were estimated to have turned out for this year’s competition, with proceeds being donated to charities for the blind and partially sighted.

Organisers hope to raise £500,000 by the contest’s 50th year in 2014.

Family ‘held to ransom’ after council finds lost dog

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When the family said did not have the money Mimi was placed into kennels, increasing the cost to £85, and they were warned she could be given to another family if they do not pay up.

Married mum-of-two Melanie Tonge, 39, a married mother-of-two from Westnoughton, near Bolton, Greater Manchester, said: “It feels like my dog is being held to ransom.

“I just couldn’t get the money together. Now Mimi has been taken to the kennels.

“The shelter has told us unless we can pay the costs she will be re-homed. I just don’t understand it. I am so upset.”

The family claim they are facing financial hardship.

Mrs Tonge said: “We cannot find that sort of money – we either pay our council tax or pay to get her back.

“I am so upset. The dog escaped because a friend left the gate open.

“As soon as she escaped we were frantic and l went looking for her.

“She is microchipped and we look after her and she does not roam the streets.”

She has told her children, Caroline, aged five, and John, aged three, that Mimi is being looked after by somebody else.

A Bolton Council spokeswoman said the authority operates an ‘in house’ dog warden service for the collection of stray dogs during daylight hours.

If a stray dog is collected, the dog is returned free of charge if it is the first “offence”.

But during weekends and evenings, all Greater Manchester authorities use a company called Animal Wardens, who return the animal to the owner after a fee of £60 has been paid.

A Bolton Council spokesman said: “This fee is paid direct to the company and the council is not involved in payment of this fee.

“If the owner’s details are not known, or they refuse to pay, then the stray dog is kennelled at Leigh Dog’s Home.

“The owner must then pay an £85 fee, which remains at this price for seven days, after which the dog becomes the property of the home.

“In this case, Mrs Tonge’s dog was picked up at about 5pm by Animal Wardens, who asked her to pay the £60 fee and she refused, so the dog was transferred to the Leigh Dog~s Home.

“She can still retrieve her dog by paying the £85 fee within the next seven days.

“The dog’s home offered to only charge her £25 as a goodwill gesture if she picked the dog up that evening, which she also refused.” Mrs Tonge denies having been made this offer.

Mondays less miserable than Tuesdays, research finds

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Conventional wisdom has been turned on its head by researchers at the London School of Economics, who have been monitoring the moodswings of 22,000 people.

Over a two-month period volunteers have been registering their state of mind with the help of an iPhone application called Mappiness,

The results have shown that Tuesday is when most people are at their lowest ebb.

“It seems plausible that on Monday the weekend has not quite worn off,” said George MacKerron, of LSE’s Department of Geography and Environment, who is running the project.

“By Tuesday they are well into the working week and the following weekend is not yet in sight.”

The information has been gathered by sending an alert to volunteers’ iPhones twice a day.

They are asked how they feel, who they are with, whether they are at home and what they are doing.

Their exact position is logged at the same time by satellite – using the same technology as employed in car navigation systems.

This also enabled researchers to discover the happiest – and indeed unhappiest – places in the country.

Thus far Bournemouth is the happiest place in the country, with 82 per cent of respondents seeming pretty content.

Life is rather less cheerful in the City of London, Eastbourne and Slough, where the Office comedy series was set.

Much could be learned from the research, Mr MacKerron added.

“By tracking across space as well as time, and by making novel use of a technology that millions of people already carry with them, we hope to find better answers to questions about the impacts of natural beauty, environmental problems – maybe even aspects of climate – on individual and national wellbeing.”

Jeremy Kyle hit by flying envelope

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Kyle, who was clearly shaken by the event, turned around to confront his guest who then threatened to “knock him out.”

Two bouncers immediately stepped in to calm the situation before it escalated.

The man, named only as Kev, and his girlfriend Elana appeared on an episode called, “Will our relationship survive two lie detector tests and a DNA test.”